Saying we drink a lot of Red Bull is like saying Jenna Jameson has had a lot of boyfriends. We drink it like water. We make oatmeal and cup o noodles with it. It’s part of our business model. We firmly believe with enough talent and Red Bull you can conquer the world. We got sick of schlepping pallets of the liquid gold back from the store, so we tried to work out an arrangement with the Red Bull girls. We wanted them to drive their weird little car by our office on the reg with their music blaring and we could all run out and stock up. Kinda like an ice-cream man. Minus the ice-cream and man. But +with caffeine and taurine. Long story short, it didn’t work. So we did the next best thing. Jared finagled a way to get us a Red Bull fridge and a distributor. Now we’re laced up with the goods 24/7. That’s some Tony Montana schiz right there. If you’re ever in the hood drop by and we’ll hook you up to a Red Bull IV. It will change your life.
